I wanna be a ______ when I grow up!

We've all said it when we were kids, and some of us still do to this day.

As some people know, I volunteer for Junior Achievement on Tuesdays. This is a program for high school students that teaches them the basics of business, how to set up a business, how to produce a product, how to market their idea and how to sell the product. It's a great program, and I really enjoy working with the kids.

There is this one girl in the group, Emily, who entertains me so much. Emily is the company's VP of Finance. If we had an award for the biggest drama queen she would definitely come in first! She's so funny though. Just before Christmas, we took all the kids out selling including the executive, who aren't normally allowed to go out selling, because they have other duties to tend. Emily was in my car when we went out, she flips from one subject to another faster then me or my mom(if you can imagine that!). I find it hard to keep up with her conversations.

Anyway, one of the topics in the car that night was what the girls wanted to be when they grew up. Emily listed off 7 things. I asked her if she planned on being all those things at once, and she said no, some of them she was double thinking and wasn't sure of anymore. Here is what I remember from her list...I hope I can get them all, she talks pretty fast too! haha. Guidance Counceller, Nurse, Cop, Chef, Business Owner, Actress, and ......Ohh I forget the last one! Maybe Tim will remember when he reads this and be nice enough to post it for me!

I asked Emily why she wanted to be a Cop and not a RCMP Officer. She stated very bluntly, because she wanted to carry a gun. haha. I didn't even know that RCMP didn't have guns, anyway, we all got a chuckle out of that.

It reminded me of when I was a little girl, and all the things I wanted to be when I grew up. It would be nice, if everyone who reads this would post what they said in answer to this question when they were kids.

I wanted to be a teacher, I think that is one thing that I actually stayed pretty consistant with, until my last few years of school, when I decided that I might like to be an accountant or a doctor. I opted for the doctor, and well we all know how that worked out. UPS is not a clinic, therefore it's safe to say I did not become a doctor! haha.

Protection

Seems I have had my cry, I still get tears in my eyes, but it seems the worst is over.

I was talking to a friend the other day and we were talking about protecting our hearts. We protect our hearts and our egos, which makes it hard to get answers to the questions we ask ourselves.

Think about it...why don't you ask the cute guy/girl out? Scared of rejection right? Scared of being embarrassed? Both probably come into play as to why we don't walk up to the person we are interested in and tell them how we feel. But will you ever find "love" if you do not at least open your heart up a little bit to face that rejection? How do you move past that fear? I think everyone has it, and those who don't, need to teach classes or hold therapy sessions. haha.

I wish I had some advice to give on how to protect your heart, but still find the answers we all seek. "does he/she think i'm cute?" "do I have a chance?" "Are they just playing with my emotions/leading me on?"

I guess this is where that saying comes into play "It's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all" I get these from my mom I think...she seems to be full of them!

It's funny when you are in school, boyfriends started out as being a guy you talked to on the phone every night or once a week, then they stemed into something more then that, you actually started dating, but it seemed so much easier back then. Maybe it was just me because I grew up in a small town and there wasn't much of a choice in guys...haha.

Now things are complicated, now I'm not looking for just a person to date, I'm looking for a soul mate. Possibly this is my problem, thinking too much, but that is me and I can't change that, trust me I have tried to, but it doesn't work.

I Cried

I really have nothing to post about, but thought I would post this before Jen started yelling at me at work to update my blog!

I've had a lot of things going on in my personal life lately, which I do not care to discuss on here. Let's just say it's left me feeling pretty crappy about myself, about the kind of life I'm living.

It has made me think about what is important to me, what should be, and how to fix the problems I have in my life right now.

I don't know how long it will take me to figure all this stuff out, but I hope my friends can bare with me until I do.

I cried yesterday, I'm on the verge of tears again today. I feel like I'm falling apart. Is it because it's been a long time since I have cried? Is it because what is going on in my personal life that I am trying my hardest to push off really really does bug me? More then I admit to myself or to my friends (even my closest) Yesterday, I cried for an hour. About what you might ask, stupid sentimental commercials on tv, the mess I've made, how I feel so crappy, how I feel alone, how I'm confused on what I want and who I want to be. I would say that I felt better after my cry, but I really don't and didn't. Is it because I've been working a messed up shift for the last two days and I'm just really tired? I don't know, but I wish these feelings would just go away.

My Plan for 2007

I know we have just started 2006, but I have a plan for 2007 that requires me to save money from now until then...what does this mean...this means Lisa will be very little fun until after the fall of 2007. Which really sucks!!!!

My plan is to go to Scotland for my birthday or the summer of 2007. This all depends on how my vacation pans out at work. I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for the summer, as Melana tells me that the fall is pretty crappy over there, rainy and cold.

Melana has my weeks all planned out for me. I'm sure she will be working for some of it, but there is lots of family over there for me to spend time with...which also equals pretty much FREE room and board!!! and lots of traveling and seeing lots of things. I'm thinking it's going to cost me a million dollars to go over there...LOL well at least a few thousand. So I'm going to be scrimping my pennies until I go over and then again when I get back to make sure I get caught up on everything!

I know my mom is worried I'm going to go over there and never come back, however, I have reasons for coming back...number one I can't be that far away from my MOMMY and DADDY!!! Number two...what about my friends?? unless they are willing to move over there with me, then I'm not staying!! Those are two awesome reasons for coming home!

Things I need for my trip....number one MONEY and lots of it...LOL So to all family members who are going to be shopping for me for birthdays and christmas I don't want Presents this year...(except for Aunt Gail..as I do need new Jammies for my trip!!) I don't want Canadian Money, I want GBP. (If I get Canadian i"m likely to spend it on things I need for my trip..like new outfits and stuff like that) Number two a SD Card for my camera. I have a feeling I will be taking a million pictures so I need to have room for them all on my camera, unless I take my laptop, then I don't need that...hmm problem with plug ins over there I think...ahh best leave the lappy at home! I think that's really it...but I may think of more.

According to the website for Zoom Airlines, I'm allowed to bring 20KG of cargo with me. I have a feeling that 10KG of that will be stuff people will send over to Scotland with me...stuff for Melana, stuff for all the other relatives...hmm possibly Christmas Presents...save on the cost of mailing them!! Instead I'll spend 700 dollars on a plane ticket!! LOL

It should be an awesome trip and I can't wait to go!!!

Random Thoughts

-Jen's been buggin me for an update saying that I updated a whole bunch in one day and haven't updated since....so this is my update.

-So one of the worst things is knowning you have something but not being able to get it. Like for example...knowing you have a different shift/job at work and not being able to go there right away. Or ordering something off the internet...you know it's yours but you can't have it until it gets delivered! I am going to be moving to 5am to 130pm shift and I can't wait to go, but I can't go until Angela leaves the shift.....I've tried kicking her out but apparently I have no say in that!

-I live with 2 of the silliest people I've ever met. Thomas and Troy. They entertain the hell out of me. They get on their rants and all I can do is laugh. Especially when Thomas goes on about women fire fighters. I have to agree if I was in a burning building on the top floor, I don't think I would feel safe if a woman came to save me and carry me down the stairs. Just my opinion not that i don't think women can do it...I do and there are some that do, however I just would feel better if a cute fireman came to my rescue!

-Days of Our Lives.....Jen and I discuss this weekly. How stupid we think the actors/actresses are, how the storylines are so dumb, and how mean it was for them to kill Zack off just to save Claire. I mean it is a soap opera and I don't expect grand things, however, it has gotten so boring lately that i wonder if there is a reason to bother watching it! How many times can a soap play the whole who is the babies father storyline?

-Men...ok Guys..or even Boys. They all say that women are complicated....I wonder if Gay guys would agree with women when we say guys are complicated? They probably would...guys are more likey to not know what they want in a relationship, they hide their feelings, and they are just out right confusing. I know women can be complicated, lets face it...girls change their minds a lot. But we know for the most part what we want, most women find it very difficult to hide their feelings.

-Ok, I've been single for 2 years. Which is a long time for me, especially when I'm known to jump from one relationship to another. So now I'm at a point where I know I don't need anyone to make me happy, I know how independant I can be. So for the two years I've been single, I've dated several times, but usually nothing more then a first date...rarely making it to the second date, mostly I have become more picky when it comes to possible mates. Then all the sudden out of the darkness (yes darkness) rises two guys at once. The saying that goes with this is when it rains it pours!

New Years

Well...I don't have much to say. I didn't take any pictures, because I didn't know anyone there except for Brad.

We had some drinks and played a game with the boys against the girls where the boys literally skunked us! Not even one piece of pie...this one guy that was there Chris maybe? anyway he knew the answer to everything....they kept telling him that he needed a life.

I met some really great people, who I will probably never see again, but they were all great.

That in a nut shell was my New Years.

Deer in the Field

Now this is something you don't see in Fredericton! And is one thing I really miss about being at home!

Ok so they aren't the best pictures.....but I swear the blobs are deer!!!

In total there was 4 deer....two does and two fawns.

I swear there are deer in that picture somewhere!!!!! LOL I think I need a better zoom...what do you think???

Christmas Decorations

I've showed you all pictures of the inside of the Ward household at Christmas time....this year I decided to take pictures of the outside of the house. The decoration my mom dislikes the most is the Peace On Earth sign. I don't know why and she tells me she doesn't know why....but anyway I took lots of pictures of that sign just for her!!!! haha

The decoration my mom dislikes the most is the Peace On Earth sign. I don't know why and she tells me she doesn't know why....but anyway I took lots of pictures of that sign just for her!!!! haha

The Wall of Cards...the other part of the deocrations that I left out of my last post. The Wall of Cards has moved since when I was a kid. In the days before computers the wall of cards was on the wall where the Computer desk now sits...I was going to put up all my work cards while I was home, but there wasn't really room for anymore cards.

Good Picture of some Coke Stuff!!! By the way...Dad got two more houses for christmas!!!

Christmas Day 2005

I woke up in the middle of then night and took "Santa's" presents out under the tree for mom and dad. Then it was back to sleep for me!!!

I woke up for the day at about 830am. And realized that there was no opening presents until Troy and Janet arrived Christmas night at 10pm. Yes, I did say 10 PM. I thought it would be an easy task since we were quite busy Christmas Day, however as the day went on..the more curious I got with the presents...however, I did not pick up or shake any of the boxes..I pretty much left them alone! I'm so proud of myself for that!!!

I made a Nacho Dip that morning, so that we could snack on it while we waited for Troy and Janet to arrive. In the process of making the dip, I burnt my thumb...yes Burnt it! I put the cream cheese in the microwave a little too long apprently because it splattered on my thumb and burnt it really bad too. Once the Nacho dip was complete, we headed up to my aunt Gails for a Christmas Family thing. Nan will be so proud of us, as excluding Troy and Grant everyone was there! It's the first time since she passed away that all the brothers and sisters were together. I told them all that if they didn't start doing it more often that when they arrive in Heaven MY NAN was going to have their heads!!!! hahaha (my grandmother would never hurt a fly) It was a really good meal and it was great to see everyone. Altho they wanted to set me at the childrens table.....I said just because I do not have any kids, does not mean I have to sit at the Childrens Table. I was a bit offended. So my mom sat at the childrens table instead...LOL After dinner I took my dad's job of the after dinner nap. I didn't mean to but I fell asleep on the couch, apprently my dad and Uncle Lloyd (the known after dinner nappers) fell asleep on the chairs and I was asleep on the couch.

Once we left Aunt Gails and we arrived home. I headed to bed for more sleep. I didn't see the point of staying up when I couldn't open any presents.....Dad slept on the chair and I slept in my bed...I guess mom stayed up. I woke up from that sleep about 8pmish....and we waited for Troy and Janet...this was a day full of waiting!!! LOL I talked to Janet online and she mentioned that she was a hungry. So after Troy got off work I called him and asked him if he wanted to eat or open presents...he of course said Open presents.....I said are you sure cuz Janet is hungry...he said ohh then we will eat first....I said ok....I got off the phone and yelled out to mom that Troy wanted to eat first.....dad said "We waited all Friggin day for him, we'll open presents first" That was from my dad...LOL I thought it was funny.

Dad in the "waiting" Position
Once Troy arrived we did open presents first..mostly because the dressing wasn't done yet. As usual, Troy was done first, me second and then Dad...Mom was last this year. But it's usually either her and Dad who are last.

Troy gave mom and dad the DVD's to open first (santa presents) and mom said to me after that when she opened them she wondered why we would get them for her when she doesn't have a DVD player. At the time tho all she said was..."Are these DVD's?" yes I stated. Ohh she said..with a funny look on her face. Then we gave her the DVD player. She and dad exchanged the look....that look is the one that says..what great kids we have....but they really went overboard......Yes I have seen that look before.

I didn't take any pictures of us opening presents or even the results from christmas, however I did take pictures of the presents I had to look at all day!!! (when I wasn't sleeping)

Christmas Eve 2005

This year was way different then any other year. I know it is different with neither me or Troy living at home, but this year was way strange!

Christmas Eve we went to church, the one in Doaktown for a change, usually end up at the one in Boiestown for Midnight mass on Christmas Eve, however, this year there was no Christmas mass...only a 6 and 930 mass. Apparently, there is no rector in Doaktown at the moment the one that was there is on a leave to be with his family because they just had a baby. So the Father that was giving the services was on loan from Stanely.

I have to tell you it was probably one of the worst Christmas Services I have been to. I'm not an avid church goer, but when I do go I usually like the Sermens. This years had nothing and I do mean NOTHING to do with the birth of baby Jesus, or Christmas at all. He started off by telling a story about two guys, a father and son, stuck on a deserted island and them making wings to fly off the island with and then the father telling the son not to fly too close to the sun as his wings would melt and he would plunge into the ocean, what does the son do...but of course flies too close to the sun and plunges to the sea...that is where the story ended, and then he talked about the Greek Gods...which is funny because we had just finished the Creed, which states "I believe in one Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, I believe in the remission of sins" One Church..one God..and here we are listening to him talk about Zeus and the lightening guy! seriously...it seemed odd. Anyway, I was not impressed..besides the fact that the only song we sang that I knew the words too (because dad didn't go get a book from the entry way!!!) was Come all ye Faithful.

On the way home from church we stopped off a Pie to a friend of the family, Glen (my computer tech, when I can't get a hold of Dumpy or Travis LOL) Of course in true Doaktown style, stopping off a pie means everyone goes into the house and sits around the kitchen table and talks, and drinks coffee (not me tho..not a big coffee fan) for about an hour.

We got home and I was sleepy so I went off to bed for the night!