I read an interesting article the other day about how as military spouses, we go through friendship dating every posting. I agree with this so much it's kinda funny. lol
The article stated that there should be an online friendship dating site for military spouses. I laughed at this and the possibility of names makes me chuckle. But, we kinda have a online friendship dating site. It's called Facebook. Most posting locations have a military spouse group on facebook. I have joined both the Shilo one (when posted there) and the Winnipeg one now that I am in The Peg. Sometimes, you start talking to someone from the groups through private messages or text messages and you get to know them so well that by the time you meet them in person it's like meeting up with an old friend, not someone that you just met a week ago, in an online group.
Friendship dating is much like real dating. You can often be set up for blind dates by friends. I did this with one friend who was moving to my home province. I have a great network of friends there, and I was able to set one military spouse to help make her posting a little easier. And like setting up a friend for a blind date, I selected one of my friends who had lots in common with the military spouse and who was also a military spouse. Usually, it's easier to connect one military spouse to another, because they can relate to what you are going through and the whole friendship dating experience is familiar as well.
I have also had a friend set me up with one of their friends. Facebook, Email and text messaging makes it so easy to stay in contact with friends, old, new, close by and far away. It would be so easy upon being posted to hide in your house and only communicate with "old" friends through technology, but it doesn't do any of us any good to become hermits.
In Shilo, I met some very different people, the first 3 people I met in Shilo were not people I wanted to be close friends with, and I knew pretty quick with two of them that our friendship would be at a distance if it existed at all. The third took me a little longer, not sure if it was because I was so eager to have a friend, or if they hid their craziness better. I think it was a combination of the two. lol Either way, I'm glad that I found the great friends I did find there, and I miss those girls so much. Erin, Catherine, and Melissa made wading through the crazies all worth while!
In Fredericton, it was a lot easier...I already had a support network, so any of the awesome military spouses I met there, were just bonuses! And I met some great ladies at the Second Language Training (French Classes) put on through the MFRC. It was a great course, we learned so much, and we had a ton of laughs! Alana, Sonia and Suet are three of the sweetest girls, and I miss them all very much and am so happy I met them.
In Edmonton, I was working, so I met a lot of my friends through work. That was pre-kids, now my kids are how I meet people....that and the online friendship dating site called Facebook. lol I did meet some great military spouses. There were events often planned for the "Officer Wives", and I didn't miss a single one. I loved getting together with those ladies, hearing their stories and having the support of people who knew what I was going through. One thing I don't miss about working and making friends that way, is I don't get near as many civilian "Ohh, I don't know how you do it"'s. lol Love my civilian friends to pieces, but as a military wife, I don't like hearing how difficult you think my life is. lol
So far in Winnipeg, I have met a couple of really great ladies. The Winnipeg Military Spouses Facebook group, has brought me into contact with quite a few wives. I met one lady, Carolyn, who interestingly enough still lived in Shilo, when I lived in Shilo. Both of us had joined the Winnipeg Spouse group, hoping to get support for our upcoming postings. We started talking a lot, asking questions and helping each other through our HHT (house hunting trips) and our moves. We even had the same Brookfield Agent in Shilo, so we often would bitch about her. Our Brookfield agent is by far the worst one we have had in all 4 of our moves. Useless...anyway, that's for another day. lol We found it so amusing that we both lived in Shilo and had never met...and to make matters even more interesting we are both New Brunswick girls...and not only that...but small town NB girls AND we both fell in love with Manitoba boys! lol Through our conversations, Carolyn and I have found we are a lot alike. We finally met for coffee and dessert on Thursday, Aug. 15, and I swear when the two of us met, it was like we had been friends forever. I love how that can happen! lol
I met another lady Emily through the Winnipeg spouses group. Her and I hit it off quite well too. We share a lot of the same thoughts and feelings towards things, and we have kids close in age. Her and I also did a lot of chatting prior to our first meeting. by the time we met up in person, we already felt we knew one another a long time as well. Our busy schedules make it hard for meet ups, but we get together when we can.
The most recent meeting I have made from the Winnipeg spouses group is Jennifer. We met to go for a walk in the Assiniboine park with the kids. Jennifer and I did pretty well with our first meet. At first, I felt it was a bit awkward, but we soon found a wealth of common ground with our hobbies. She crochets and knits and I knit too! She scrapbooks!!! She takes photos and edits them! Once we found that common ground we have been getting together once a week with the kids to explore the city. Her boys and my girls get along swimmingly. They are constantly asking when they get to see one another, and often want to invite them along on different outings we go on.
Postings are hard on the whole family. The hubbies are moving to new job positions, meeting new guys and also making new friends. The wives are moving to a new city, a new job, meeting new people and attempting to form bonds with the people we meet. And the kids are moving to a new city, going to a new school, and making new friends. Our family looks at every posting as a new adventure. We like adventures and look forward to each new one we get to take together, despite the obstacles, we will always have one another and the memories.
To all my friends, thank you for being so awesome, and to all the military spouses going through the friendship dating game, good luck, there is always someone worth your time at every posting, it's just to find them. Ohhh and don't be scared to ditch the crazies! lol