Motherhood

I know it isn't Mother's Day, but I thought I would write my thoughts on motherhood, since I've been in the business for almost 2 years...lol

I love my girls, I love my common law spouse and I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I've always known I wanted to be a mother. I did not, however imagine how fulfilling the days could be to just be home watching them grow and develop. I think in July when the EI checks stop arriving at my door, I'm going to be a little upset at the lack of funds I personally will have, but as a family, we will make due with one income. It will be hard, there will be a lot of things I want that I can't have...but I know that Jeremy will make sure we do not go with out the things that we need.

I was thinking this morning, as I was reading another blog, that was about a young boy who's father was mentally ill. The abuse got to be so much that the mother had the father put into an institution for help. The young boy blamed his mother for his father leaving. As the boy was too young to understand that Daddy's brain was sick and that was why he had left. The mother took all the steps to protect her son. The son and the mother started to communicate through art therapy. It is kind of a sad story and it made me think of other situations, such as domestic abuse and mental abuse and how that tolls on a person over time. It's good that the mother protected her child from this abuse and shielded him. I think most mothers would try to shield their children, I know I would.


I could not imagine starving my kids, having them have to steal money from my purse to buy bread and peanut butter in order to survive. I could not imagine denying them any of the necessities of the world. I could not imagine leaving my kids alone at home while I went out partying. I could not imagine beating my kids, or calling them down. I cannot imagine I could ever make my kids slaves to do my work because I don't want to.



Chloe was a crying baby...very difficult compared to Brooke, but not as bad as some I've heard about. For those frustrating moments we had, the crib was the safest place for her. She could cry and not get hurt and I was able to walk away and take a break, calm down and go back for more. Brooke is entering into the "into absolutely everything" stage. Things she knows better then to do, or touch are all fair game again. It's like trying to re-establish everything I have already taught her. Since she is still sleeping in a crib, that is also the safest place for her during those frustrating moments. Do I yell at her and give her fingers a little smack......Yes of course I do. But I couldn't picture myself doing anything worse, or letting anyone else do anything worse to her.

I do not believe there is an excuse for people who allow someone else to hurt their kids or who hurt the kids themselves. I do not feel bad for the parents who are commited of crimes because they have shaken their baby, or beat her/him, or starved her/him and have had their children taken away. Sometimes I just think people are too selfish to be parents...maybe the timing wasn't right in their lives, or maybe they just didn't want/like kids...but there is always adoption, and so many people out there waiting 12 years for an infant to adopt.

For being a person who usually has little patience...I seem to have tons for the girls...Brooke is into helping with everything mode. She likes to help carry in the groceries, she likes to help put them away, she likes to help cook and she likes to help clean. Altho, it can be frustrating to see your daughter get the broom and spread your dirt pile across the floor after you just swept it all up, and it can be upsetting to see the bread you just purchased get squished in a little girls hands, and it can be very frustrating when she helps with laundry and gets the clean and dirty piles mixed up, but it's all apart of learning and teaching. It's a lot slower to put away the groceries when she helps, but she loves it so much how can you say no? lol

My children do mean the world to me, but if it weren't for meeting their amazing father, I would have no children. If things had of went differently for Jeremy and I, Brooke and Chloe would not exist. So I guess what I am saying is that I live for my family, not just for my kids.

I hope that Jeremy and I are good parents and that the kids do leave the nest, but also do stay in contact. I look forward to being a grandmother, as Jeremy looks forward to being a grandfather. We started our family older then some, which means we will be old grandparents...probably the kind that need to have their diapers changed...LOL I hope that my family communicates well and when problems come up, we can discuss them and work out the issue and come up with a good solution together as a family.

Motherhood has been a blessing for me. I love it, I love raising and protecting my family. Jeremy said to me last night "I love that you are so happy to be a mother" I think this was because my stories revolve around the kids. When he gets home from work, he has work stories to tell...I have Brooke and Chloe stories. But they are who I spend all my time with. And altho there are days where I would like to walk out the door, this is the best job I have ever had!